faith for the broken .
i want to die .
i mean that with everything inside of me .
those words might be scary for most of you
and believe me it scares me to
i don’t have a nice life nor a nice future to look forward to
i honestly don’t have anyone who 100 % loves me other then my mom and even she has said and done horrible things to me
i haven’t spoken or seen my dad in the last 10 years
most of my family chooses to just stay away from me
my boyfriend and every other guys who’s claimed to care has done me wrong
and i’m a pretty shitty person
so i’m alone i have no one or nothing to look forward to
money is good but i realized it comes and goes ‘
so whats so great about life .
the hardest thing i have ever done is cut someone out of my life .. who basically is my life .. i know with all my heart that this is the right decision considering all that has happen but i cant erase his touch from me .. i can’t see my self being happy with anyone else other then him . i cant see anyone else laying on my bed . i cant see my self meeting a whole new person , and falling for ever single gesture every single little way of doing something i just cant see it . i understand why its called heart break because my chest feels like its being drained stomped and breaking into a million pieces . i cant do this life thing with out him , as pathetic as this sounds i think i cant live with out him . 4 years of his cheating lying and mistreatment 4 years of complaining and wanting to leave on my part but now i realized hes my everything and i physically feel like i cant breath move with out him , hes a part of me that i don’t want to leave behind but i know i have to . and this is the hardest part knowing i have to .
My father broke my heart long before any boy had the chance to.